☆ Husbando Questionnaire ☆

Everyday Life

  1. What would your morning routine look like with him?

    Using the word "morning" isn't quite right for Nny...his days are endless because he refuses to sleep, so having any sort of schedule with him is sort of a nightmare. It's more like he just drops by at the ass-crack of dawn just to be with me by the time I get up.

    ...And by dropping by, I mean breaking and entering my house. He doesn't quite grasp the concept of privacy, and he has a lot of sneaky ways of getting in--either by crashing through a window, or underground tunnel systems...Unfortunately for me, the concept of privacy gets thrown out of the window when Johnny decides to come and visit. He likes to sneak in and hide somewhere--under the bed, in the closet...and jump out when I least expect it. I hate it!! (I secretly love it though, because it's usually when I'm thinking about him~)

    ....I suppose I never get lonely, though. :)

  2. Does he drink coffee? What kind do you think he would like?

    I can't imagine Nny enjoying coffee unless it's the most disgustingly sweet kind of fancy frappe, like something from Starbucks. But caffeine would definitely make him even WEIRDER and twitchier than he already is (which is saying something), so it's best to steer him away from that, hahaha~

    Further detail.

  3. How long does it take him to get ready?

    ...Longer than you'd expect. He plays with his hair for so long in the morning. (....He's getting mad at me for confessing this, eeek...!!)

    But! The guy is pretty fashionable for a serial killer. He does genuinely like dressing up if he has the energy for it--he likes expressing himself and alters a lot of his own clothes by hand. He swipes pieces from his victims--he's broke and has sticky fingers, he just can't help it--so more often than not, he has to tweak things to get them to fit his scrawny frame better.

  4. What meal would your husbando prepare for you?

    He may not look it, but Johnny does actually enjoy messing about in the kitchen, when the mood strikes him! His methods may be a little...uh, experimental? (The ingredients become...questionable...) but sometimes he gets it right!

    He likes baking, and making teas and smoothies. He can make a mean sammich, and enjoys sourdough bread. He's a little too excitable with the blender though...gotta keep an eye on him when he's playing with that.

  5. What are his eating habits like?

    Uhh...not fantastic. He's the kind of person to forget to eat proper meals. Especially because he's dealing with the...ya know...murderous voices in his head and a monster in his walls...!!! He has a sweet tooth, so when he does eat, it's usually candy and other junk. Some folks on Tumblr have analyzed his diet from the comics/the official twitter account, and he has the diet of a fussy toddler, lmao. But if you put food in front of him, you can usually tempt him into eating.

    Further detail.

  6. What kind of dessert does he like most?

    This question is so hard, because he likes so many...!!!

    Further detail.

  7. What kind of beverage does he drink?

    Cherry brain-freezies! Cherry-flavored things are his favorite~

    Further detail.

  8. What restaurant would he take you to? What would he order?

    As much as I love Mexican food, hopefully not "Taco Smell", lmfao... But Nny would be a connoisseur of any establishment that's open 24 hours a day...That probably doesn't leave us with too many options, but a midnight picnic with some fast food at his favorite hilltop would be our version of a romantic date~

    Further detail.

  9. What are his sleeping habits like?

    ....Not good! "Question sleep and all of its motives"! He hates sleep--Well, it's really more that he hates waking up. It messes with his perception of reality.

    Further detail.

  10. If he can't fall asleep, what will he do?

    ....Torment me. Or kill someone, probably. Which is pretty often, because he likes to stay awake for as long as possible.

    Further detail.

  11. What would he wear to bed?

    Johnny's brain doesn't quite understand the transition between waking life -> bed for sleep, so he doesn't own anything like pajamas. He only falls asleep when he absolutely has to: so, when his body finally gives out underneath him...meaning he's sleeping in whatever he's wearing in that exact moment.

    ...He might lose his pants, though. If he's genuinely trying to make an effort to get comfortable.

    (....Or I steal his pants while he's unconscious. Either or.)

  12. What might he dream about?

    The same sorts of things that you and I dream about. With a smattering of supernatural nonsense and gruesome murder thrown in.

    ...When I sit down to answer this question, it feels a bit odd, because so much of Nny's character is him spouting about how much he hates sleep. But he does sleep, sometimes--he talks about it in both the comics and on the official twitter account. He admits to dreaming about Devi killing him in the die-ary entry at the beginning of issue 4, and at the end of the Squee comics, he has a cameo where he's found to have been the star of a sleep study in a pysch ward. (The implications here are...interesting. Are all of Johnny's homicidal actions taking place in his dreams?! Is his whole story not actually in reality?! Thinking about it too hard hurts my brain...And that's probably by design...)

    But sleep to Nny is a battle with his subconscious. The house monster and his headmates (the doughboys, etc.) already mess so much with his internal dialogue while he's awake, that when it comes to dreams, he has trouble determining what's real and what isn't. In issue 6, when he's dead and in Hell, he tells Satan that he finds sleep "...frightening--to awaken and be uncertain--unsure of everything you remember about life not being just part of a dream. Waking up means I've slept, and sleep dissolves what certainty I have left."

    And when he's asleep, maybe old memories of the life he had before he was a homicidal maniac show up. Maybe he dreams of a more normal life when every person he meets doesn't end up on the blade of his knife....

    And there's this tweet. It hurts my heart.



    ...But I'd be lying if this angst of his wasn't delicious--I love wrestling with ideas of what Nny might have become if he wasn't a homicidal maniac. What he might have been like before the wall monster. Or if he was able to escape and rehabilitate into a more normal life... (But the tragedy of it all is also super appealing. I'm an asshole who likes seeing him suffer!)

  13. Have you ever dreamt about him?

    Oh, countless times. When you've had the same husbando for half of your life, he takes up a certain amount of space in your subconscious...I've had beautiful dreams of him and I've had nightmares about him. A whole mixed bag of scenarios--but I suppose that's pretty normal, even if he was a 3D boyfriend. The amount of times I've dreamed of trying to hear his voice but then wake up the moment he opens his mouth is a bit funny, though...

    ...I've had this re-occuring dream about a JTHM cartoon for years now.

  14. You fall asleep on him! How does he react?

    Short answer.

    Further detail.

  15. What would it be like to live together?

    Ummm...rather troublesome, I think. If only because of the Lovecraftian entity that is Johnny's house, lol~ Even if we attempt to relocate, I can't help but feel that Nny's problems will only follow us, sooo...We're stuck living in House of Leaves irl until we find a way to exorcise the problem.

    But! Ignoring our supernatural troubles, I think it could be quite nice if my self-insert got her own wing of the basement.

  16. What chore is your husbando best and worst at?

    He's surprisingly good at cleaning--especially getting suspicious stains out of carpets... And he's picky about how things smell--he likes scented cleaning products, according to this blog post by his author. He strikes me as the kind of person to really enjoy the smell of chemicals, like bleach...

    He hates doing the dishes. He wears gloves to do it. (...I wonder if he'd wear an apron in the kitchen, too? Kind of moè...)

    ...This all being said, he was to be prompted to clean, sometimes. If it's not an obvious mess, aka not a bloodstain, I have to remind him that it's there.

    He is kind of organized with his things, though. A sort of "organized chaos"...As organized as you can be when your house is a lovecraftian entity...

  17. Is your husbando a good driver?

    I think Nny is an okay driver, as long as he doesn't get too distracted...But the problem is, is that he gets distracted a lot.

    Further detail.

  18. What items would he add to the grocery list?

    Very innocent-sounding things that you wouldn't think would be used for murder. Shit like fun dip, because he wants to use the stick to scoop out someone's eardrums.

    And then he'd draw Happy Noodle Boy on the back.

  19. How would you arrange your belongings to fit together?

    Short answer.

    Further detail.

  20. What are his favourite things?

    Lucky for me, the character profiles in the back of the Director's Cut makes this easy!

    Further detail.

  21. What are some things he dislikes/hates?

    Again, going to reference the character profile for this one...

    Further detail.

  22. What habits of his would rub off on you and vice versa?

    Probably the murder.
    ......But if we're not counting the murder, probably just his goofy phrases and way of explaining things. He is the king of insults, he's very creative in that department.

    I'd like to think my presence might make him a little more level-headed, but...I make no promises! ;)

    [ blah blah blah talk about catching the "sickness here ]"

  23. Would he like a pet? What kind?

    Nny likes all animals! (But he's allergic to cats, which makes him all cranky) ...He's just not good at keeping them alive. Hence what happened to his pet, Nailbunny....

    Further detail.